I’m going to use this little blog as a spouting off point from time to time, how i fixed things and how things are getting in my way - not just for an outlet for people who on the dole and do not want to be.  today is one of those days.

Three things stopped me yesterday doing what i needed to do - and all of them involved money.   I’m currently £24 overdrawn in my main bank account - when i do get one week of dole tomorrow it will eat into that £64.   that in itself i can handle but 3 seperate situations sum all the bad vibe of being in this mindspace for me.

• i have a problem taking images on my iphone that they do not show up on the film reel - mainly using shakeitphoto (nightcamera seems ok weirdly) @mackney has suggested a fix for this but i need to pay the paltry £1.19 for the app.  i don’t even have that.  this will therefore nag away in my head until i can get it sorted and get to the pictures i have taken (sure i can get to them from doing a direct link but i can’t do the fix) - not a major thing.

• i shot some video while in dubai on a project, when i get back turns out that my hv20 tape mechanism is now broken.   i had already broken it regarding sound in sxsw this year but now the unit has become a really expensive webcam.  sigh.  so at some point i need to invest in a new HD camera.   looking around the house of things to put on ebay using isale5.

• i needed to copy some videos for a potential project for a client into a dropbox, grab some videos from another persons dropbox and could do neither, i cannot afford the $9.99 to keep my 50gb dropbox going.  it says i’m 1024% over my allocation.   this actually stops me from getting a job and made me feel and idiot.  coming to something when you cannot afford the ‘tech’ basics.

Now, i know what some of you are going to say in that these are just my expenses, all involve money in some way and that i’m being selfish.  maybe, but i also see it as that whenever i’m in a dark place earning very little and generally feeling down in the dumps trouble seems to follow you everywhere.  it’s not just the feeling of being on the dole that is annoying it is that everything else seems compounded by it when you are.   things that were once in reach are pushed to the end of the virtual table.   In some ways (and i always use this as a base) this is a good thing for me to value what i have and need and be more optimized about spending.

It’s just my often self created ‘sod’s law’ that seems to love to kick me repeatedly when i’m down.   I’m gradually putting together a monthly expenses report together - i had become quite flippant on that over the past year of course but that was only because i was letting my creative side run riot.  for as good as i multitask on a computer when it comes to finances i really need to have a reboot.   whining over.

i looked on worktrain website today.  i’m seriously thinking about taking absolutely any jobs now.  you know the economy is bad when you cannot even get a shelf stacking job at your local sainsburys.